I wake up every morning wondering ‘will today be the day’ and the day passes *slowly* and NOTHING  happens.  I am convinced he is NEVER coming out.   I am convinced that I am going to be pregnant forever, I bet TLC or the discovery channel would even give me my own show titled : “Pregnant Forever – The baby that NEVER wanted to come out”

I am so bored, I can barely walk, every time I stand up it feels that this child is going to fall out…at this point I don’t think that would be a bad idea.

For the past two weeks the shop has been completely closed.  I go back in tomorrow to have the doctor tell me the same thing, I can see it already.  I keep getting my hopes up just to get them shot back down.

I give up. I surrender. I’m here waving my white flag. Im. Done.

So I had another doctors appointment the other day, I met with another doctor in the office – she was so nice and very funny.  However, once she measured me she said, “he seems kind of small; I’m going to schedule you for a sonogram”  I immediately begin to panic..but she reassured me that everything was probably fine.

Which it was. He is 5lbs 1 oz give or take 12oz.  The ultrasound tech told me he looks great and I even got more pictures.  And more proof that he is indeed a boy!

She took a picture of him with his foot in his eye socket.  Not sure how comfortable that is, but that completely explains so much.  He is going to be exactly like Ryan…I can see it now.

Other than the mild little scare – everything is going well.  I officially cannot sleep in bed anymore, I have made permanent residence on the couch and that is where I intend to sleep until the little man makes his arrival.

So we had birthing class on Saturday.  It was…interesting.  I mostly benefited from the tour of L&D and a few of the things the instructor had to say.  I really wanted to go for Ryan’s sake.  I thought he needed to see it, and gain as much information about the whole pregnancy, birthing, after birth process as possible. According to him he learned a lot and was happy he went.

The hospital itself is nice, the birthing room wasn’t exactly what I expected (not sure what it was I expected) and the recovery rooms are nice.  However, only 7 of the rooms have been redone and there are 20 rooms that are still “older” which doesn’t really matter much to me…Im not looking for the Ritz Carlton or anything.  They do have 2 suites but they are $200 and it is 1st come 1st serve and they really aren’t THAT much better.

It was such a long day we had to be there by 8am and it was suppose to go until 5pm but we did get out early.  The instructor was nice and let us come and go as we pleased.  Overall, I was happy we went and I feel much more relaxed about the whole process now…(ask me when I am in labor and I will probably tell you that I have FORGOTTEN everything she said).

I’m starting to re-think this whole pregnancy giving birth thing. Can we just rewind to about the 20th of May so I can tell Ryan that I have a headache?!

I feel so unprepared, Oliver’s clothes still aren’t washed, his room is still not completely put together.  I don’t have the car seats in the cars, we don’t have a changing table.  I am just a little beyond panic right now!

I have 5 bajillion(thats more than a bazillion if you didn’t know) thoughts running through my head and answers to NONE of them.  Sure, I’ve gotten answers but do I remember them…nope.

This morning I was wide awake (again) at 3.  I tried so hard to fall back asleep but I kept thinking about how dirty my kitchen was and it kept me awake.  I thought ‘what if I go into labor RIGHT NOW and the kitchen is dirty?!’  I realized it was an irrational thought, but I got up anyway and cleaned the kitchen.

Then I was convinced that I WAS in labor without contractions.  I feel like a crazy person.  Every little thing is freaking me out.

Then baby kicked me in the ribs – I immediately thought they were contractions.  This is seriously the worst time to not be allowed alcohol..in my opinion I think all pregnant woman should be allowed alcohol but only the good stuff, like good ‘ol boxed wine.

Lately however, he has been doing everything possible to get comfortable in the belly which results in me being VERY uncomfortable.  Last night it took me over an hour to fall asleep. While I was trying to watch sugarplum fairies dance in my head my son was doing a little dancing of his own. It got to the point where even Ryan said “it’s freaking me out!” Uhh thanks honey you can kindly move your hand away when you become “freaked out” I however, am stuck with the little break dancer. He is no doubt Ryan’s kid that is for sure. A dancing machine already – I can only imagine what will happen when he’s 5.

It’s such a joyous time of the year, honestly I love the holidays but I am ready to push that fast forward button and get on with the show. I am done, you hear me DONE with being pregnant. It’s not like this pregnancy was bad in any way, I wasn’t sick (I’m not gloating), I didn’t have any major problems unless you call adult temper tantrums over the wrong kind of ice cream (thanks honey, I still didn’t forget) or the urge to pee every 2 seconds major problems…scratch that the last one is REALLY annoying.  I am just ready to move on to the next chapter. I’m ready to see what this dancing fool looks like, who he is going to be. If he’s going to be more like me or like Ryan and I’m really looking forward to all the sleepless nights. I really can’t wait for those. (You sense the sarcasm?!)

I am excited though, I can’t wait for Ryan to witness first hand “Bringing home baby” and what it actually means.  Every parent thinks their child is perfect – my husband already thinks Cupid is perfect and that he is going to be the best baby ever (I think that too, but I’m realistic) I know he is going to cry (A LOT) and he will probably be fussy and not want to sleep (especially when we want him to sleep).  But no not Ryan, he thinks he won’t cry at all and he will sleep perfectly throughout the night and day….boy is he in for a LOUD awakening.

Ryan and I have been busy, he’s on vacation this week so we have been working hard to get Cupids room in order. It’s starting to finally come around. I can’t wait until it is completely finished. We went to Walmart and bought some picture frames to hang on the wall. We also looked for some shelves, but that was a waste.

Christmas is coming! The house is finally decorated. It was nice to be able to decorate our own home. It took awhile to get everything up because I get so tired but I do a little bit then I sit.

I know I have 10 weeks to go, but I am so ready for him to be here! He has taken up permanent residence in my rib cage. Sometimes he gives me a nice kick just to say hi.  He has been having hiccups a lot lately too. I feel terrible because I hate hiccups, they are so annoying. I find myself rubbing my stomach trying to soothe him..not really sure it works though.

A few weeks ago I had my baby shower. It was at a beautiful golf course with great food may I add.  We had a nice lunch and some delicious cake and then I got down to business…by opening presents of course! There were so many presents, it took me almost 2 hours to open them all.

Cupid received so many cute things, its hard to pick what was our favorites. He has so many adorable clothes now he is going to be the best dressed kid on the block.  I can’t wait until he gets here just to dress him.

Now we are in the process of organizing and decorating his room.  Ryan set the crib up and it is amazing. I put the pack -n-play and bouncer together and they are also so neat. Our little man is so lucky to have so many great things and we are so thankful for all the things he received during the shower.

One of Cupids many outfits

IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!

It is wonderful.  Firm but comfortable large enough for a few people to sit on and so much better looking then the bottomless pit.  We also purchased a sofa table that we intended to put behind the couch.  Unfortunately the couch was bigger than we thought and the table had to be moved.  It looks wonderful under this beautiful painting Ryan bought for me for a housewarming gift.  It’s like it was meant to go there.  We also get a chair and a half but that won’t be here for a few more weeks.  Our living room finally is starting to look like a home and not some thrown together room.  I am pretty sure Cupid is going to love it when he gets here.

At my last doctors appointment the receptionist told me to fast before because sometimes it helps and the test comes back okay.  So that morning I didn’t eat.  Can I just tell you how hard fasting is when you have a child in your stomach.  At 4am I woke up wanting to eat everything in the house, I just settled for water.

The drink wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be 10 oz. of this orange drink.  It was cold so at least I didn’t have to drink it warm.  It kind of tasted like the juice of an unfrozen orange Freeze Pop.  I think the worst part was waiting an hour.  I get so bored, and the magazines I brought I had read them all before.  When my time was up I went in and gave blood and left.  Overall, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be and I am so thankful that everything turned out okay so I didn’t have to go back for the 3 hour test.

This beast has been with us since we first got together. Ryan bought it right after we first met four and a half years ago. Now I know some may say “you haven’t had that couch very long” and you’re right we haven’t but this couch has been through it all.

Three guys living in an apartment using it as a bed instead of a nice sitting area, a jungle gym for drunken party nights, and a comfy spot for sleep overs.  This couch has lived through two apartments and a house (for a little while) and even thought it looks like it’s still in good shape, when you’re five months prego and you’re practically sitting on the ground because all the firmness of the cushions is gone, it is no longer the most comfortable seat in the house.

So yesterday, “We” talked Ryan into possibly getting a new couch. We could have gotten one for free but once we thought it over, we realized that if we took “the green” couch that we would be losing seating. The beast holds about four people comfortably and 6+ uncomfortably. Either way it is our main source of seating and getting rid of it for a smaller couch just didn’t seem practical. So Ryan had a great idea, to go to Value City and see if we could find a new living room set. Granted it wouldn’t be free but desperate times call for desperate measures. So off we went and “We” fell in love with a chocolate (great name) brown couch and chair set. It was firm yet comfortable and “We” could get off it of just fine. No more sinking in! Ryan wasn’t completely sold on it only coming in brown. But “We” eventually talked him into it, so now on October 22nd I will no longer have to barrel roll to get of the couch I will be able to freely stand up without a rolling start.

Bye Bye Bottomless Pit

While eating dinner, I said “save some for us, we really like it.” I had to laugh because I guess I do say it. But I don’t feel alone anymore. Cupid is starting to move more and my stomach has become big that most of my clothes don’t fit so I feel that my body is not my own anymore, and that I am a We.

I could see how it would sound funny, especially to a man who is in charge of his own body and do whatever he pleases, but five months ago I let someone else live in my body and I am responsible for this little person, so whatever I eat he eats, whatever I say he hears and whatever I do affects him. I am no longer one person but two and I really like being a “WE”